Let’s talk about Roxy Lalonde
Has anyone done this before? Probably. Idk I wanted to talk about her.
Roxy Lalonde strikes me as one of the saddest and strongest characters in Homestuck. I know people like to fawn over Dirk and the rough time he is currently going through, but let’s talk about Roxy for a bit.
Roxy, just like Dirk, raised herself. Alone. Unlike Dirk, however, she did not have the ability to build her own robots to raise her for her- She had the carapaces, sure, but I feel as if a lot of the time it was HER taking care of THEM. I do believe it mentions about her feeding them at some point. She was a little girl who grew up in a big place without a lot to explore, but still always having to hide. Always looking out for her life from the time that she could hold a weapon.
Roxy grew up under the shadow of her mother. Someone who had this amazing ability to write- and what about? Wizards. Fuck yes. It was probably a shocking disappointment to Roxy when she didn’t also possess the same skill. Her writing is funny, charming, and clever, sure. But Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-esq comics carry no candle to a best selling saga. In this light, with the way that her mother left her, I could see how Roxy might feel abandoned, if not, a disappointment. I know that I would.
Roxy turns to intoxication, in my mind, because life is too hard to handle. I think that is clear enough. Roxy is- and this my friends, I think is one of the bravest and hardest qualities a person can have- someone who tries to look at life in a good light when they are sad. Instead of letting her worries and fears swallow and consume her, she seeks ways of digging herself out of the hole. She keeps her head up. Perhaps turning to alcoholism was not the best way to do this, but given her circumstances and the fact she had no adult super vision and friends who were hardly stable enough to be pushy themselves, I will give her the benefit of the doubt on this poor choice. Do you think Roxy ever had break downs, or had to throw up by herself when she got sick from drinking too much, or felt ill for days from alcohol poisoning, or forgot to eat because she was so far gone under the influence? Probably. Do you think she may have stunted growth in areas or be underweight or have poor self image because she grew up without proper care? I think so.
But she kept her head up anyways.
Let’s talk about Roxy and her love life. Yes, I know, teenagers, bluh bluh. Well not really, in this case. There can be, and usually is, a fine line between a platonic soul mate and a lover soul mate. I feel as if Dirk and Roxy teeter this line. I definitely believe they are soul mates on some level- it is even mirrored in their corresponding characteristics with Nepeta and Equius, the infamous meowrails. Roxy probably formed a crush on Dirk as a kid- he was all that she had, in a sense, he was the only one who could understand. Jake was ignorant enough where sympathy might have been difficult to get, and Jane completely unsympathetic, disbelieve, even, none the wiser that Roxy told the truth about her situation all those years.
I believe that, probably, from a young age Dirk would have been secure in his sexuality. Maybe not secure in it, but of the mind that he knows what he likes. It never seemed like he considered Roxy as an option for a romantic partner on a serious level. Imagine growing up knowing that a person you were connected with on a deep level would never, and could never, love you the same way, all because of something you could not help.
Well I think maybe Roxy would start to begin to think that it was all her fault?
In my head, Roxy’s self confidence is probably shattered. She probably believes that none of her friends like her on the same level that she likes them. She tries anyways. She tries to be there for them, she tries MANY times to save them and lift them up and make sure their fucked up love lives turn out alright. She is constantly trying to make Jane see in the same light she sees Jane. You can see in canon Roxy is prone to calling Jane her best friend frequent, as if she believes if she says it enough times, she will believe, and Jane will believe it. I don’t think Roxy believes Jane trusts her at all- how could you, when your best friend tells you to your face you are better as a drunk? Or when she ignores your protest to play a game created by the very woman who killed her only guardian? And at the same time, I also feel like Jane doesn’t value their friendship on the same level, because their relationship seems constantly strained.
And Jake, of course, gets along with Roxy fine, but if she does like him on any romantic level (and I feel as if in some ways, Roxy is one of those people who would be open to romance with any person she loves. I feel as if Roxy is a lover.) he was the one who ‘stole’ Dirk away from her. (That would be how I would see it, personally, but Rolal clearly didn’t!) Roxy never held it against him. Instead she tried to defend Jake with Jane. Roxy has never once, ever, done something not in her friend’s interests. Even when she blew up Jane’s computer she did it because she THOUGHT Jane was in danger. Do I even need to get into how dedicated she was to Calliope?
And then you have her asshole friends who all ignored her the one time she needed them. Even though they all had reasons for it, can you even imagine how that might feel? Like crippling abandonment, maybe? Like no one cared?
Now let’s talk about Roxy’s aspect. Rogue of Void. Need I say more? Roxy causes a void for others- she obscures seeing powers, she obscures light, and she has a thing with invisibility. Like her entire life is one. big. void. Roxy literally has nothing and has everything taken from her- yet she is grateful for most and everything!- it is even written in her title.
So you take all of that, and put it with how things are currently going. Dirk’s blatant and cold rejection, Jane and Jake, all of it…
Life as Roxy Lalonde is hard. It’s hard and no one understands.
Roxy, baby, you are so brave, so strong, and so amazing. I know the fandom will never shed you in the light you deserve- let’s face it, you aren’t male, you aren’t a Strider- but girlfriend, I feel you. I really do.